One day we were going on a picnic. It was a beautiful day. There was not a single cloud. So far our Saturday was going wonderfully well. Then we heard some thumping. It was like an army stomping towards us. Luckily we had almost finished our picnic. So we hopped up to leave just in case it was something bad and started to walk to the car. Except before we could make it to the car Tim yells out pirates. Then we all started running and Charlie said he remembers seeing a little boat on the shore of the pond. It was a pretty big pond so our plan was to go across which was going to be pretty hard. When we were in the middle of the pond, Sandra yelled out crocodile. It was lurking around waiting for some humans to feed on. So now we had the pirates and the crocodile onto us. Before we could get to the middle of the pond the pirates got another boat and started to chase us. There boat was much bigger than ours so the crocodile didn’t even try to go for them.
They had now cornered us so our only option was to fight back. We hid Sandra with the baby Lucy and Charlie and Tim did all the fighting. Charlie was fighting the crocodile and got pulled into the water by it. Tim didn’t even notice that Charlie wasn’t in the boat but he did see that the crocodile was gone so he quickly took the track that the crocodile was blocking. They went as fast as they could without looking back. Sandra and Lucy were still hiding and had no idea what was going on. When they all hopped out of the little boat Tim said “where is charlie” nobody knew where he was. Then they saw a bunch of blood in the water. Tim started to get a sick feeling that he might be gone forever. He collapsed to the floor and started sobbing. Then Sandra poked her head out and said is everything alright. Tim was to busy thinking about charlie that he didn’t even hear her speak. She had soon realised what had happened and started sobbing to. Lucy was still in the boat and had no idea what had happened. They eventually got themselves together and went home. 3 Days later it was time for the funeral. Tim thought it was all his fault and never forgiven himself. You might never see it but on the inside Tim has always felt like this and never won’t feel like this. But that is now the way of life for him and will never forget that day.
this was a really good story you followed your plan really well and so far nothing really to improve
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